(02/06/2018) 6:03am
A beautiful memory
Time wasted grieving
Awakened with wisdom
Sadness overcome
Illness not done
Healing as one.
Funny how it has been so long
I apologize for not appearing strong :)
Healing coming on!
Open your eyes for it will be gone
Obsession into art
Art into collection
Undivided connection
Unlimited attention
(03/01/2017) 7:33pm
(04/19/2018) 5:55pm
Three years strong
And I'm still not over
Not a day has gone by
Where I've been comfortably sober
Every pain aches
Since our nostalgia hasn't faded
I ask you to forgive yourself
Fuck this, I'm jaded
My abuse blames you
A suicide blamed me
When it comes down to it
We both died simultaneously
You've been longer away
Than the time we both stayed
You've been longer away
When you made me melt away
My old self I beg to you
To perceive from my way
My old self I scream for you
Don't forget what I say!
My old love I call to you
My third eye to yours
Can you hear me falling?
My blood hits the floor
Did we we wish we were dead
From the voices in our heads
I wish we had lived
Give yourself time to forgive
(12/01/2017) 3:38am
I don't know what I'm doing
But I know I'm full of love
I'm having troubles pursuing
Because I think I'm not enough
Only viewed for my body
Because the world is only lust
I re-evaluate around me
I understand that it's because
We are selfish we are scared
We are prideful we are dumb
We spend our lives attaching meaning
To falling hopelessly in love
When I think about old actions
And the pain I must have caused
I realize the role you gave me
Where i was utterly at loss
Anxiety's my future
Depression is my past
I can't forget, I worry
Just go away at last
Depression is my comfort
Anxiety my grasp
I hold these as security
I'm afraid that I'll relapse
Each night I dream so vividly
The nostalgia- oh it aches
I haven't recreated memories
as no one can ever take your place
(10/06/2017) 4:03pm
Why do they say they are here?
When the darkness arises they all disappear
Why do they say that they care?
When I open my mouth they only stare
With all the damage I've done
Who have I become?
A shadow of myself
I am so numb
Dab myself dumb
What have I become?
A shell of myself
Recognize that I'm fun
I miss the old me
Outgoing and free
Ignorant and seen
My own worst enemy
Depleted energy
Forgotten identity
Covered by an entity
That took all control of me
Lost under submission
To the drugs I am missin
I'm under remission
Will I be forgiven?
They say I'm an addict
But I swear I've adapted
To the lifestyle I'm after
Forget it I'm blasted
Is the problem me?
I am chained but I'm free
The issue is simply
To not pick up that first drink
(Written sober)