deep

goodbye old self (March 1, 2017) Edited April 19. 2018

(03/01/2017)  7:33pm

(04/19/2018) 5:55pm

 

Three years strong 

And I'm still not over

Not a day has gone by

Where I've been comfortably sober

 

Every pain aches

Since our nostalgia hasn't faded

I ask you to forgive yourself

Fuck this, I'm jaded

 

My abuse blames you

A suicide blamed me

When it comes down to it

We both died simultaneously 

 

You've been longer away

Than the time we both stayed 

You've been longer away

When you made me melt away

 

My old self I beg to you

To perceive from my way

My old self I scream for you 

Don't forget what I say!

 

My old love I call to you

My third eye to yours

Can you hear me falling?

My blood hits the floor

 

Did we we wish we were dead

From the voices in our heads

I wish we had lived

Give yourself time to forgive 

sober thots (October 6, 2017)

(10/06/2017) 4:03pm

Why do they say they are here?

When the darkness arises they all disappear

Why do they say that they care?

When I open my mouth they only stare

 

With all the damage I've done

Who have I become?

A shadow of myself

I am so numb

 

Dab myself dumb

What have I become?

A shell of myself 

Recognize that I'm fun

 

I miss the old me

Outgoing and free

Ignorant and seen

My own worst enemy

 

Depleted energy

Forgotten identity

Covered by an entity

That took all control of me

 

Lost under submission

To the drugs I am missin

I'm under remission

Will I be forgiven?

 

They say I'm an addict

But I swear I've adapted

To the lifestyle I'm after

Forget it I'm blasted

 

Is the problem me? 

I am chained but I'm free

The issue is simply 

To not pick up that first drink

(Written sober)