02/19/17 11:13am
Today I laughed, cried and smiled at the sun
I yelled I said "I am free"
I am almost finally free
Freed from you and freed from where I be
Because the future is there it's alive and it is so bright
All I really needed was to see and feel this light
(03/01/2017) 7:33pm
(04/19/2018) 5:55pm
Three years strong
And I'm still not over
Not a day has gone by
Where I've been comfortably sober
Every pain aches
Since our nostalgia hasn't faded
I ask you to forgive yourself
Fuck this, I'm jaded
My abuse blames you
A suicide blamed me
When it comes down to it
We both died simultaneously
You've been longer away
Than the time we both stayed
You've been longer away
When you made me melt away
My old self I beg to you
To perceive from my way
My old self I scream for you
Don't forget what I say!
My old love I call to you
My third eye to yours
Can you hear me falling?
My blood hits the floor
Did we we wish we were dead
From the voices in our heads
I wish we had lived
Give yourself time to forgive
(11/27/2016) 9:06pm
Accept yourself
Erase the past
Grieve when you need
Time moves fast
Indulge in your suffering
Because it is inevitable
Listen to your thoughts
Or destroy all that's pleasurable
Feel your pain
Analyze decisions
Know who you are
Enjoy your visions
(04/11/2018) unknown time
Where am I without my booze?
They say I have the choice to choose
But what have I got to lose?
I have nothing without those blues
The nostalgic bar awaits my dollar
Guzzling sounds of warmth drip down my collar
They whisper internally don't you ever stop
They ask externally why don't you ever stop?
The drinking boys and girls always know me by name
They feel that I crave lonesome escape from the pain
I love you, a fucked up naiive blacked out stain
Your shadow lays here, so come with us to play
Please keep my seat warm from yesterday
Stumble your sexy self on over here and stay
I'll drown my sorrows in the breath of dismay
Why doesn't anyone ever listen to the words that I say?
Don't be sad honey
Do not be afraid
Don't be the disappointing daughter that you hate
Drown, forget, disassociate
Codependency tendencies infinitely curate
The mind is a game of false perception
A post traumatic stressor collection
Sensitive, willing and eased
Describing the woman that could be me
Dark, divided and diseased
I have to let me go in order to be free
I need to let it go that way I'll be free
The ego awaits at the bar in the sea
Erasing inhibitions of disastrous tendency
Belated and hated, barbaric blasphemy
Take the lens off in order to see
My ego isn't shedding so effortlessly
Why can't my hands let go of the feed
Destroying the foundation that grows the seed
Pick me up, let me down and strip me
Remove all my worth because with it, I'm a tease
The beauty beckons and reckons it believes
Every voice in my head that just tells me to BE
Fucking let me go in order to be free
I have to let me go in order to be me
I have to let the e-go
Destroy itself to see
That I am nothing without
My own lock and key
No will-power to give out
When I can't balance me
Beautiful history
Chaotic mystery
Remarkable discovery
Creative uncovering