02/19/17 11:13am
Today I laughed, cried and smiled at the sun
I yelled I said "I am free"
I am almost finally free
Freed from you and freed from where I be
Because the future is there it's alive and it is so bright
All I really needed was to see and feel this light
(12/01/2017) 3:38am
I don't know what I'm doing
But I know I'm full of love
I'm having troubles pursuing
Because I think I'm not enough
Only viewed for my body
Because the world is only lust
I re-evaluate around me
I understand that it's because
We are selfish we are scared
We are prideful we are dumb
We spend our lives attaching meaning
To falling hopelessly in love
When I think about old actions
And the pain I must have caused
I realize the role you gave me
Where i was utterly at loss
Anxiety's my future
Depression is my past
I can't forget, I worry
Just go away at last
Depression is my comfort
Anxiety my grasp
I hold these as security
I'm afraid that I'll relapse
Each night I dream so vividly
The nostalgia- oh it aches
I haven't recreated memories
as no one can ever take your place
(10/06/2017) 4:03pm
Why do they say they are here?
When the darkness arises they all disappear
Why do they say that they care?
When I open my mouth they only stare
With all the damage I've done
Who have I become?
A shadow of myself
I am so numb
Dab myself dumb
What have I become?
A shell of myself
Recognize that I'm fun
I miss the old me
Outgoing and free
Ignorant and seen
My own worst enemy
Depleted energy
Forgotten identity
Covered by an entity
That took all control of me
Lost under submission
To the drugs I am missin
I'm under remission
Will I be forgiven?
They say I'm an addict
But I swear I've adapted
To the lifestyle I'm after
Forget it I'm blasted
Is the problem me?
I am chained but I'm free
The issue is simply
To not pick up that first drink
(Written sober)