(05/03/18) time unknown
My mind where has it gone?
Lately I’ve been out of the zone
only hitting the bong
as i melt into the unknown
Feel me as I look at you
do you see my pain
My perception so skewed
with tears blending in the rain
Tired and alone
together not lonely
I fear you’re not home
so subconsciously worried
Meditate and numb
the pressure goes away
Twiddling your thumb
the fucking sweet escape
Blissfully appeased
Curiously at ease
Preciously released
Tastefully diseased
(04/20/2018) 2:51pm
I am loved by no one, myself not enough
Once I lose it all they leave so abrupt
The damage is done and I cannot repair
What's left of who I am with no one to care
The pain is so empty and my mind is so numb
When the day breaks I feel like I'm no one
As night comes I am buried so deep
Into myself I am one, I am pure, obsolete ...
Being I am this sensation of talents
But no one to listen to the words of the imbalanced
We all don't know what's going on so who am I to judge
But since I'm in my own body, myself I must love
How can we possibly think to be
A collective group of love, a community
Why would anyone want someone tough yet so weak
Bury me alive, how I feel, I'm asleep
(02/05/2018) 2:58pm
It starts as an old graphite drawing of you
It spirals, I wind up creating something new
But all of that time I spent looking at your photo
Allows me to subconsciously talk to your shadow
It helps me heal, and it helps me face it
It reminds me to know I can never replace it
And that's ok because each experience is temporary
Especially the people we hold onto most indefinitely
Years of distraction I forget your name
I've had plenty of time to dissipate the pain
Remember my words as I continue to say
Relate, elevate, rejuvenate, communicate
(4/19/2017) 3:48am
Help me get out of this daze
For years I'm reliant and turn to the blaze
Cognition is fading
The thoughts of me waiting
I'm out of my mind
Let the visions unwind
As I heal as I gain
As I suffer through pain
Let me shout
Let me sing
Let me do my own thing
While I sit here mediating over memories retained
As I fear
And I must
For we lost all our trust
Recollect the mistakes
from the past that we made
We were young and behaved
You restrained me to cave
curiously
I pondered you
Mysteriously
you haunt me too
Obsessing over
Not being sober
The imaginary nostalgia
Repeats in my amygdala
Screaming out to ya
(11/27/2016) 9:06pm
Accept yourself
Erase the past
Grieve when you need
Time moves fast
Indulge in your suffering
Because it is inevitable
Listen to your thoughts
Or destroy all that's pleasurable
Feel your pain
Analyze decisions
Know who you are
Enjoy your visions