(04/11/2018) unknown time
Where am I without my booze?
They say I have the choice to choose
But what have I got to lose?
I have nothing without those blues
The nostalgic bar awaits my dollar
Guzzling sounds of warmth drip down my collar
They whisper internally don't you ever stop
They ask externally why don't you ever stop?
The drinking boys and girls always know me by name
They feel that I crave lonesome escape from the pain
I love you, a fucked up naiive blacked out stain
Your shadow lays here, so come with us to play
Please keep my seat warm from yesterday
Stumble your sexy self on over here and stay
I'll drown my sorrows in the breath of dismay
Why doesn't anyone ever listen to the words that I say?
Don't be sad honey
Do not be afraid
Don't be the disappointing daughter that you hate
Drown, forget, disassociate
Codependency tendencies infinitely curate
The mind is a game of false perception
A post traumatic stressor collection
Sensitive, willing and eased
Describing the woman that could be me
Dark, divided and diseased
I have to let me go in order to be free
I need to let it go that way I'll be free
The ego awaits at the bar in the sea
Erasing inhibitions of disastrous tendency
Belated and hated, barbaric blasphemy
Take the lens off in order to see
My ego isn't shedding so effortlessly
Why can't my hands let go of the feed
Destroying the foundation that grows the seed
Pick me up, let me down and strip me
Remove all my worth because with it, I'm a tease
The beauty beckons and reckons it believes
Every voice in my head that just tells me to BE
Fucking let me go in order to be free
I have to let me go in order to be me
I have to let the e-go
Destroy itself to see
That I am nothing without
My own lock and key
No will-power to give out
When I can't balance me
Beautiful history
Chaotic mystery
Remarkable discovery
Creative uncovering
